Do you know how many times a week I hear, "I know I'm crazy for thinking that", or" I know that is not normal", or "I wish I could be more normal". And I just smile. You know why? Because what is "normal" first of all? And second, we are all human and all of us are more normal than we realize. We tend to look at each other and think, "they have it all together" and we think of ourselves, "why am I such a mess?"
So first, define for yourself: What is normal? Do you know? Normal only exists in our thinking! It's what we THINK is normal. I am sure all of us have different idea's of what is normal. So "normal" exists in our thoughts and how we perceive things.
Second, we are all more "normal" than we think. So let me give you a personal example. When I started life coach school years ago, I was a little worried about what people might think of me. You see, I thought I wasn't normal. Normal people are confident, and self-assured, and have it all together. That is what my definition is. So when we started school and had to coach each other many times per week and then we started coaching people outside of school, the one theme that I started to discover, and one that I still see every single day of my life, is that almost everyone believes they are "not good enough". I had a client tell me today, "I'm afraid they won't like me, because I'm not smart enough, pretty enough, and skinny enough." Do you realize that being normal, is probably feeling unworthy, not good enough, and not as good as others?
Being "normal" is struggling with ourselves
Battling our own weaknesses
Worrying about our body shape and size
Wrestling with decisions and life in general.
"Normal" is worrying about the future
Being fearful of commitment
Being overwhelmed with the future.
"Normal" is being scared someone will hurt us
That we will be rejected
That we won't fit in.
"Normal" is worrying about finances
Having days and maybe even months or years where we are discouraged and depressed
Feeling like we aren't smart enough
And wondering if anyone will ever truly love us as we are.
I could go on all day! But truly, being "normal" is being human and experiencing all the things that come with life as a human. We have good days, and bad days, and stress, and frustration, and excitement and joy and on and on. ALL OF US DO!!
It always saddens me when I hear of people who need help, need someone to talk to, need some guidance, and because they fear that they aren't normal, or that someone will discover that they struggle, or that they will be judged, they never reach out and get the help they need. They live with fear, and sadness, and suffering. When clients tell me something and then apologize for who they are or what they said, I just tell them, "did you know you are normal?" "Did you know that almost all of the clients I work with feel the way you do?" And they are shocked! "Really? They say. "I am normal?" "Other people feel like I do?" And usually they feel better. The reality is this: We are all a hot mess! All of us! And we are all just trying to figure this "life thing" out.
So when you are feeling like you are the only person in the world who feels a certain way, just remember, most people feel the same way you do! I promise!
If you would like to talk to someone who would listen without judgement, reassure you that you are normal, and help you deal with the struggles that many other people struggle with, then contact me. And if you are embarrassed to get help? Welcome to the club! Most of my clients are! But truly, get help! It could make all the difference in your life. It is worth it! Go to directyourlifecoaching.com and click on "Contact Me". You will be so glad you did!