So I was talking to a client the other day and she was stressed and anxious about the future and that something bad might happen. That stress, which is a primary emotion, she didn't deal with, and then it turned into a secondary emotion which was anxiety. If we live in past problems, it can cause depression, and if we worry too much about the future, that can turn into anxiety. So I like to do something with my clients. I tell them, "Let's go to worst-case scenario." And they always look at me like I'm crazy! Their fear is this situation they have built up in their heads and they resist going to that place. So I take them there. And when we look at worst-case scenario, all of the sudden they find that they are there and they are okay.
Say for instance, you worry about what roommates you might have in college. You can worry yourself sick over the possibilities of who they might be or how they might act. So you stress for months before you head off for college about what might happen. It's such a waste of brain power! You are trying to control a situation that doesn't even exist. So I would tell you, "go to worst-case scenario." So let's pretend that you have 2 crazy roommates who won't do their dishes, they steal all the closet space, they take too much fridge space, and are noisy when you are trying to sleep. Well, what would you do? That could be miserable, or you could figure out a solution. Now you can't ever change other people! But you can change the way you act or react to the situation. Maybe your solution would be to set up a dishes schedule, or get your own closet rack, or buy a mini-fridge, or buy ear plugs. Do you see how with every obstacle you can find a solution. There are always solutions you can try. So see now that we have gone to "worst-case scenario", have looked and analyzed it, and found some solutions to it, it's not nearly as scary as you thought it was.
I have worried for years that one of my children or my husband would die. What would I do? Where would I go? How would I survive? I wouldn't be able to go on.... and on and on. So, I took myself there. What would happen if one of my children died? I would feel grief, and sadness, and loss, and maybe lonely, or angry or devastated. But you know what all that is? Emotions! Yes Emotions! So the worst thing that could happen, is that I would have to feel what devastation would feel like? And it wouldn't be fun. But devastation, or sadness, or loss, or anger, won't kill me. They will just be an uncomfortable emotion I will have to feel. So now, when my mind goes there, and yes it still does sometimes, I just have a quick alternate thought ready, which is, "Whatever happens, I might feel negative emotions, and I will be okay eventually." And you know what? It dissipates the fear of "what if." I know I can handle anything. So the next time you are worried about the future or have anxiety over what is to come, try going to worst-case scenario. What you will find is, that it usually isn't as bad as your mind tells you it will be, and you might be surprised, you might just be able to handle anything that comes your way! Try it! It works!
If you are stressed or anxious about something that might happen, go to my website Directyourlifecoaching.com and sign up for a free mini session and we can chat about it. There are no strings attached. You might find that you will feel a whole lot better after that 30 minute call. Reach out today!