It's often said that whatever you choose to focus on will become your priority. But I would take that a bit further. Whatever you choose to focus on will determine how you feel and act and how you will get the results in your life. It's almost like when someone says to you," don't think about the color red", and what does your mind do? Think of the color red. In any situation we can choose to focus on different things, but whatever thing you focus on will become where your attention is.
So for example, have you ever been dating someone you really really liked? What things are you focusing on? Maybe their looks, their hobbies, what you like about them, their personality etc. You are focusing on all their good attributes and qualities. You are focused on finding what you like about that person. And so when you focus on finding the good, you find it. When you focus on the bad you find that too. So why do people get married and start having problems? Well there are lots of reasons, but one might be that they start to focus on something different. Often times we start to focus on the things that bug us, little things they do that are irritating, all the things they don't do, or how they don't meet our needs... as if that is possible. And when we focus on those things, we will find those things. They will stand out to us. We look at what is wrong instead of what is right.
So when looking at your life, what things do you want to focus on? A couple of years ago a really awful trial hit our family. The kind of trial that takes you to your knee's. It became all consuming and I had a hard time seeing anything else. I was sad, mad, frustrated, and depressed. And all of that came from thinking that "this situation has ruined our lives." It started to really take a toll on my quality of life and one day after a few years of dealing with this I realized I had become an angry, bitter, cynical person. And I didn't like who I was. So something had to change. It didn't come overnight, but what I learned to do was change was my thinking. The trial didn't change. It didn't really get better. But I realized I could change my focus and find all the good things in our lives instead of focusing all on the bad. And you know what? It worked! I started seeing all the amazing things in my life. I started waking up each morning finding things that were good, and that were going right, and I stopped focusing on things I couldn't control. And over a period of time, I started being happy again, finding joy again, and finding more peace in my life. It's all because I changed my focus. To this day, we are still dealing with this problem, it hasn't changed, but I have. I don't dwell on the things that aren't great, but try to focus on the things that are. Now there are still days when I feel mad or sad, but they are short and go away quickly when I start finding the good. It works! You ought to try it!
If you are wanting to change your focus in your life, or find healthy ways to think differently, contact me and I can help you! Go to my website directyourlifecoaching.com and sign up for a free mini-session with me. There is no obligation beyond that! But finding a new focus might be just what you need to change your life. Join me!