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What am I going to do?


So yesterday, I asked my 17 year old, who will graduate in May, what do you think about your future? And you know what she said? "Mom, I have no idea!" She told me, "I think I should go to college, but I hate school Mom, and I don't even know what I would study." Do any of you ever think that way?

So my question to you would be, why do you have to know? What? "Our school counselors, teachers, leaders, and parents are all asking me what am I going to do with my life, and I don't know what to say!" So why don't you just tell them you don't know yet? Does that somehow make you look bad? Why do you want to please them or tell them what they want to hear? Maybe you feel the pressure from their inquiring questions. But what if you just said, "I'm not sure, but I'm working hard to figure it out." Boom! That's all you would need to say. Now, they might chime in by telling you what they think you should do, but you can smile politely or give them a fist bump, tell them, "thanks for the advice" and walk away. Why do we fear what others think or say? Their opinion is their opinion and you can be confident in figuring out your own life.

So when we fill out college applications, they always ask you to declare your major. What do you want to study? Do you know for most kids, they have no idea. Do you know why? Because you have been attending a very controlled school environment in which they control which classes they offer. You can't possibly explore all the job options with just a few classes to choose from. There needs to be a time when you can explore different subjects and job fields. We can't possibly know all that is out there. And sometimes it takes a while to figure out what you are good at and what you might enjoy studying. So why the hurry? Why do we need to decide right now? We don't! Other people might pressure us to know, but we really don't have to for a while.

When I started college, I had no idea what I wanted to do. But I was required to declare a major. So I figured I would put music, because I played the piano, as my major, and business as my minor. I had no idea, but I had to appease college admissions. All it took was one class, Music 101, to turn me completely away from the music department. That class was a joke! I flat out flunked it! 1 semester in and I was on grade probation. Great.... Well the next semester I signed up for general classes, and a couple of exploring elective classes. I still had no clue what I wanted to study. I took child development class, because I loved little children and a lot of English and Math. And what did I discover? Learning about the development of children was quite interesting to me. So the next couple of semesters I took more general education courses, and then a few more classes in the child development field. And you know what I discovered? It was too much theory and wasn't for me. But I did know I liked children. So the next few semesters I tried early childhood education. And while I liked those classes, I still wanted to be more hands on. I went to my counselor and told her my thoughts and she asked me if I would like to try some classes in Elementary Education. I thought, "why not". So as I continued taking general classes, I tried Elementary Education and I found my niche! I LOVED it! It was hands on and exciting and fun for me. So in the course of 2 years I had switched my major 3 times. But that wasn't a problem at all. I worked hard and eventually graduated in Elementary Education. My husband also switched his major 3 times... from Construction Management, to Mechanical Engineering, and graduated in Manufacturing Engineering. But in both cases, we had to explore different things until we clued into what we wanted to study. And we learned a whole lot on that journey in the process.

So again I would ask... Why do we have to know at 17, or 19, or 20? We don't. So often as we are looking, we discover what we enjoy. But that might take a few years. And you know what? It's okay. Both me and my husband graduated from college and we both started college with no idea what we wanted to study. So relax! You don't need to know right now. Life has a funny way of leading us where we need to go. If you are struggling with what to study or why you need to know, contact me @ Tiffany@directyourlifecoaching.com and sign up for a free no obligation mini-session. You'll be so glad you did! Relax! You've got this!

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