Navigating Relationship with Parents
What is your relationship with your parents like? It is good? Bad? Evolving? Changing? There are so many different kinds of parent/child relationships. As many as there are people! These relationships can be so important to us and affect our lives in many ways. As the world is today, there are also many different types of families and parental situations. Some of you might live with a mom and dad, and some of you might not live with both, or may have other different dynamics in your life. Today, I'm going to talk about the relationship you have between your mom and/or dad. As you start to get older, this relationship will naturally change. You are trying to gain your own independence, and parents are learning and evolving as well.
I'll never forget when I moved out and started college. I was so excited and so scared! I had never lived on my own. I was excited to do what I wanted when I wanted and have no "set" curfew. That would be freedom. But then there was also this part of me who was scared and worried about not having my parents. I was worried about money, how would I cook for myself, and so many other things that adults do that I had no idea about. There were times that I wanted my parents involved in helping me and other times when I didn't want their opinion. I remember trying to figure out this relationship with my parents now that I was an adult.
I had a client recently who was in overwhelm over his future and what to do next. He had graduated from college and was working in his field of interest. But the longer he worked there, he became discontent and really wanted to pursue a different passion he had in his life. Not to mention he had a steady girlfriend and was in overwhelm about where to go with that as well. When we met, his thinking was keeping him stuck. He believed that if he quit his job to pursue his passion, his parents would be disappointed because they helped him with his college tuition and they would think it was a waste of their money. Now he didn't know that for a fact, but his brain told him this must be what his parents were thinking. It created a lot of stress for him, so he was staying in a job he didn't really like. When we looked at all his thinking about him, his future, his parents etc. we realized it was optional to think that way. He could actually think a totally different way. So we tried on a new thought which was, "my parents love me and want me to be happy." When he changed his thinking about this, he realized that this was true. We found a ton of evidence to back this thought! He realized that "my parents helped me with college to help me learn and grow and find a job I love. I choose to believe that no matter what I do my parents will be proud of me!" It changed everything for him!!
So depending on your thoughts about your relationship with your parents will help or hinder that relationship. If you think thoughts like, "they are trying to control me," or "my parents are disappointed in me" vs. "my parents love me," or "my parents are proud of me" it will generate a totally different feeling about this relationship and create the results. So what are you looking for in that relationship? Try looking at your thoughts about it.
If you want help in your relationship with your parents, or want more information, please go to my website Directyourlifecoaching.com and we can set up a free mini-session to talk about this and anything else you want. There is no obligation. Let's improve our relationship with our parents! It can make such a difference!