I used to think I was the only one who felt nervous whenever I went to hang out with groups of people, or go to a party, or be in a new situation with people I didn't know. But you know what I found out? Lots of people feel that way. It can feel vulnerable to put yourself out there, when you worry about your own confidence and how you will be received by others. This last month of December, I found myself worried about a few gatherings where I would have to be social with people who I knew and didn't know. But what was behind that worry and fear? I had to do some thought downloads, which are writing down all your thoughts that you are thinking in your brain. And for me, it came down to a few things. Some of my thoughts were: How will I be perceived? What if I don't know what to say and how to start up a conversation? Is everyone looking at me and how I dress and how thin or fat I am? What if people don't like me? Isn't that interesting the thoughts my brain was telling me? They tell lot about what I'm thinking and why I feel nervous. All of those thoughts create feelings of fear. And when I'm fearful going into social settings, then I act different and show up different than if I was calm and confident.
So what am I to do? Just avoid those situations all together? I guess I could, but I didn't really want to. What I wanted was to feel calm and secure when I entered those situations. So how I could I feel that? I had to choose to think differently about those situations. So I came up with some new thoughts and idea's.
"What if everyone really likes me?"
"Everyone is nervous, so I can help them feel comfortable."
"I totally know how to talk to people and hold a conversation! I just ask them questions about themselves."
"I do know what to say."
"I love me and I love who I am, so it doesn't matter what people think of me."
"What other people think of me, is 100% about them!"
Do you see how those thoughts helped me feel differently going into a social situation? It welcomed feelings of calm and confidence, which is the way I want to feel. And when I am feeling calm and confident my actions reflect that. And my result is that I am good with me and can show up and act genuine. So before I leave for the social scene, I just remind myself that "I love who I am", and that "it doesn't matter what others think. It's all about them." And I have so much more fun! You oughta try it! It works! Go be social!! If you're interested in learning more about being comfortable in social situations, I can help! I have the tools to teach you to be confident in any social situation. Just go to Directyourlifecoaching.com and click on a free, no obligation, mini-session. They are 20 minutes and totally free. What are you waiting for! Do it today!