Do you ever feel like you are failing in life? Are you discouraged, overwhelmed or hopeless? I think we have all felt that from time to time. Maybe things aren't going well, or we are super stressed out and think we're not excelling in any part of our life. And usually when we think we are failing at life, we generate feelings of self-doubt, frustration, overwhelm and fear. And that ends up causing more stress, more overwhelm and we find ourselves stuck.
But I want you to take a look at yourself and your brain. What does failing mean in your life? Question your brain... are you really truly failing at everything? Why does failure get such a bad rap?
Brooke Castilllo, a master certified coach, looks at failure differently. She says that "failure is the key to success." What? How? That seem's crazy right?
So let's take a look at failure. What is it? A lack of success?
We as humans are so afraid of failure! We are taught as we grow up that failing is bad. Right? Just ask a parent how they feel when their child brings home a paper with a big fat "F" on it. We are conditioned to believe that if we fail at something, we must be a failure. But is that really true? And how could failing lead to success? It's all in how you look at it.
So I remember my first semester at a university as a young 18 year old. It was a big school and the classes and professors were intimidating. I had come from high school that wasn't all that difficult into college level courses that were kicking my trash! It was summer semester and I was partially checked out... basking in the sunshine, not in class. So I decided to take 2 classes that would be "easy." Music 101 (because I played the piano) and Child Development (because I babysat kids a lot as a teenager and I knew all about them... ha). I learned pretty quickly that school at a University versus high school was completely different. Well I outright flunked Music 101 and got a C- in Child Development. Then I got a letter informing me I was on grade probation and that if I didn't pull my GPA, I would be kicked out. Well I went to pieces. My thoughts went straight to, "I'm not smart enough", "I'm such a loser," "I knew I couldn't hack college", etc. Failing for me meant I was a failure. And so often we do that.
But in reality let me tell you how that supposed "failure" ended up being the key to my success. When I failed Music 101, I had to re-evaulate how I studied, took tests, and looked at school as a whole. The University required me to take a class on study skills and test taking... bless their hearts :) . But the things I learned from failing was that I really had to study hard, I had to be committed, I had to work much harder at the University level. I had to decide if I really wanted to succeed in college. And I gained certain study skills that helped me become a good student, be committed, and to finish my degree. And I'm even proud to say I graduated with exceptional grades.
Could I have been successful without flunking my first class? Yeah probably. But flunking that class lit a fire in me, and I worked harder than I ever had. It wasn't always smooth sailing through every class, but through little failures along the way, I learned to improve.
So now I can tell you that I agree with Brook Castillo: "Failure is the key to success." As we fail, we will learn amazing things. We regroup, refocus, learn what needs to be changed, and carry forward. So when you have times in your life where you have failures, instead of thinking, "I am a failure," you can think, "this is going to teach me how to succeed." It will change everything! I promise!
If you are feeling like you are failing at life and need someone to talk to or help you, please reach out to me: Directyourlifecoaching.com is my website and you can sign up for a free mini-session. We will take your individual circumstance and help you see a new way to look at it. You will be so glad you did!